Hurt leaders, like myself, develop ineffective coping skills as a way of getting through their adverse childhood experiences, their perceived threats from others and their emotional triggers. Trigger after trigger, year after year, we normalize and reinforce these dysfunctional coping skills as our go-to reaction and recovery all in the name of survival. However, these trauma survival skills are not helpful in the long run. So much of trauma is relational. For me, I relied on my fight / flight responses as a way of protecting myself from bully bosses or resistant staff. Instead of these responses helping me survive, these patterns contributed to problems with developing and maintaining relationships with others. READ MORE
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